Cheese, cheese! O glorious cheese!
I can’t eat you for you make me gassy,
But when I see you my eyes become glassy,
and I forget flatulence with ease.
O cheese!

Cheese, cheese! O marvelous cheese!
Muenster and cheddar and jack,
One bite and I cannot turn back.
Pass the Beano if you please.
More cheese!

Cheese, cheese! I miss you dear cheese!
Since the fateful day the good doctor said
“Ma’am sadly never must you be fed
milk, ice cream, or dairy, nor cheese.”
Poor cheese!

Cheese, cheese! Understand cheese,
My stomach can never digest you,
the enzymes, they don’t really like you,
and I must respond to their pleas.
Bye cheese…